Stay single, for the sake of the band

It's Jay, and I've been up late again. I've been thinking alot lately, mainly about the importance of NOT having a girlfriend while being in a struggling, underground band trying to tour and "make it" (I use quotes because while some have an idea of making it, others have their own ideas which the first group thinks is stupid and so forth). There are a couple reasons that not having a ball and chain is good.

1) Trying to tour. God only knows how much nagging a natural born man can go through before finally pistol whippin his bitch into submission over the subject of tour.

How long will you be gone?

How long til you get back?

Will you call me?

DON'T talk to girls.

I don't care, I don't want you talking to anything with an crevice in their body resembling a vagina.

Ok, ladies, let's face it, you aren't the only female that actually enjoy listening to music. In fact, you're probably not the only one who will enjoy the band I'm in. Actually, the girls who I talk to on tour will usually, ACTUALLY enjoy the music I make, rather than just acting like it because it's my band and you just love me so damn much!!!! Talking to any people at shows is something that HAS to happen if we give two damns about making it to the next show, because, let's face it, gas isn't getting any cheaper.

Not only this, but as if the nagging about mistrust isn't enough, you have to deal with more than the normal amount of nagging about how much time you talk to them. Being on the road isn't some sort of vacation. In some ways, it is. No work, travel around playing music. But there's loading in, driving through hellacious rain and snow storms, trying to find the venue, loading out, making rounds talking to people to make sure they won't leave, setting up, playing, breaking down, giving thanks to everyone who came and casually steering them to the merch table, loading in, finding a place to stay, etc, etc, etc. You can shoot the occasional 'ilu' text, but asking a guy who's in a band to be on the phone with you 24/7 while on tour is like asking them to turn down any chance of money.

Don't get me wrong.

It's NOT about the money.

But making it to the next show on your tour definitely helps when you...tour.

2) Show trades. The GLORIOUS act of giving a band a show in your hometown in exchange for a show in their hometown. Which is godsend.

Why is being single important to show trades? Because the absolute last thing you want to do is not be able to hang out with or put up bands that you hold a show for because of the old lady. Does everyone in the band have to hang? Hell no. But there has to be atleast one, preferrably two, people in the band with no hangups ready to hang at all times.

This. Is. Key.

If everyone in the band had their phone to their ear on tour, the band would just look like a bunch of snobs. If everyone in the band dipped after the show and didn't help out the band, you'd look like a bunch of snobs.

3)The excitement you get from being in your band is something that is unparalleled by anything. It's intoxicating, and soon overtakes everything you want to and do talk about. Whether it's the new tour or a new idea for a song, the worst thing that could possibly happen is just a blunt, "I don't want to talk about it."

Bitch!

You're supposed to be as excited about this as I am! Be happy for me! But instead of joining in with my excitement, you want to stifle my joy.

That's great.

Now don't get me wrong. Having a girlfriend and being in a band can be a beautiful thing. There's ALWAYS a definite merch girl. And she'll always bring friends to show (who hopefully are hotties). And if you happen to stumble upon a girl who isn't a naggy, untrusting BITCH, then awesome.

But, just as a warning. Tour is probably the greatest test for a relationship. So think twice. About dating the girl, I mean.

Because you never have to think twice about tour.